Shoeboobies

My brother, upon hearing about my new bloggity-blog-blog… blog, told me that all future conversations are strictly off the record.

I’m almost certain he meant starting tomorrow…

Seems you say ‘blog about dating’ and boys hear ‘means by which to virtually grab hold of a man’s testes and ram them firmly up his left nostril, via the colon.’ Or something.

So I’d like to take this opportunity to briefly outline what Shoeboobies is. And what it ain’t.

IS

- Low-brow analysis of articles and books females consume in order to Get. The. Guy.

- Catalogue of ways I make a tit of myself through the medium of dating

AIN’T

 - Means by which to virtually grab hold of a man’s testes and ram them firmly up his left nostril, via the colon

So listen up, boys, ‘cause I’m only going to say this once…

I like you.

I like your shoulders.

I like the way you smell.

I like that you can strike big, important business deals but you can’t remember not to scratch your bollocks in public

WHEN ONLY THE BEST WILL DO FOR YOUR BOLLOCKS

I like that you don’t count calories.

I like that you’re always up for a laugh.

Hell, I even like the way you look naked

I don’t pretend to understand you, but I like you.